Death of Nairobi Nightlife

Please join us as we decipher the seismic shifts now sweeping Nairobi CBD retail space permanently altering its 123 year trajectory.
PS. This is an imaginary ‘drone operation’ conducted over the CBD from the comfort of our office purely for fun with the hope it will help light up your day.

It’s nothing serious.?

Our operation begins at 08:00 EAT kicking off from KICC’s helipad, some 345 feet above CBD.

08:05 ⏱️

We’re circling above former Simmer’s (now a parking lot) along Kenyatta Ave. For 21 yrs it played host to city revelers, live Congolese bands & wheeler dealers.

Then came a barrage of lawsuits & bulldozers in quick succession, the result? Parked cars!

08:30

500 feet above what housed the iconic Florida Nightclub aka ‘Madhouse’ as it reigned supreme on K street for 35 years. Now home to a towering office block.

It’s one of the latest shows of might in the ongoing club invasion whose execution is nothing short of clinical. ⛑️

Birdie tells us Maddy’s departure was so emotional fans actually teared up as the landlord demolished the joint in the August of 2014.

09:00 ?

We’re hovering 600 feet above Kimathi/Banda streets junction.

The undisputed Party HQ now a known ‘enemy line’ dotted with more than 10 restaurants.

This is the spot where Cool Kids parked Cool Rides to Cool Heels & Live Once as recent as 2018. Plz read again.

The hitherto HQ, the place where Mojo (magic) once lived is no more, instead a glitzy Safaricom shop now sits pretty on the Tribeka spot & we also notice ongoing renovations at Mojo’s.

Our eyes are teary by now. Our hearts? ?

09:30

It’s loud silence as we circumnavigate down towards Gravity & I Club both at Kimathi/Mama Ngina streets junction where once again the raging supremacy battle rears its head.

Café Pronto now occupies former Gravity space and you stand a better chance getting hit by a flying Pizza from Pepino’s Pizza than spotting I Club. ?

10:00 ?

Already 2hrs into our stealth operation we begin to wonder whether there’s any point carrying on, the writing is obviously on the wall.

Amidst all these chaos JavaHouse ? has thrived to post 11 branches in the CBD alone.

Artcaffe Coffee and Bakery ? & Café Deli follow with 3 branches then KFC? & Big Square ? at 2 each.

So whether by design or God-knows-what-else, there’s a new awakening in the CBD.

A deeper look reveals an even chilling phenomenon from as early as 2010 by way of hard-to impress-WOKE-millennials whose tastes seem to have evolved overnight.

It’s no longer enough to just serve drinks & play rhumba. Larger than life ‘hybrid menus’, stable Wi-Fi & wait staff from mars in restaurants are turning bar tables upside down (unnoticed).

Acloblow put estate pubs & wine stalls on steroids in 2017. Look around you.

COVID-19 World Tour coming just as 047 was getting a new Guard was the final nail, a rare collab that has forever buried nightclubs… Alive, you think??

 

The writer, Moses Owuor is a Commercial Real Estate Specialist.

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